Wednesday, June 02, 2010

What makes people have a bad temper? Is it genetics or just?

that some people have one and othere don't?


Answer:

Genetics has nothing to do with an individual's bad temper because this is a learned behavior which a person deliberately chooses to display. He or she has a deep and often hidden sense of insecurity that desperately craves attention . A bad temper is merely an act of defiance resulting from a lack of maturity, wisdom and self-discipline.


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 I will wager that each of the people you know that has a bad temper..is a liar. Somewhere in their soul they are hidding something, or protecting something.. usually it is the phone front they put up.. they do not want people to know who they really are or they don't know who they really are themselves .. they live a lie, they project a lie and are constantly trying to support the lie.. their insecurity shows up when things don't go to suit them or they are challanged by someone.. They spend their life being angry and though most of them may be somewhat passive agressive they still become angry over little things and they begin to build.. finally they have to blow.. all it takes is a triggering mechanism... it is not genetic.. it is just plain psychological short commings.. they have no patience and a short interest span about things unless it is about something that they can express their knowledge on... they can also have an addictive personality..

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Some from their parents some from their life some from they want every thing some for make people thing they bad like that every 1 has reason but who can think solve his problem not with the temper

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 A bad temper represents impatience.
 It doesn't have anything to do with genetics. Sure, in some cases, it might be a learned behavior, but I think with most, it's probably just a lack of patience and a lack of tolerance.

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 I doubt it's genetics; in the Nature Vs Nurture scheme of things a Bad Temper is a learned response to the 'things and or people are not meeting my expectations' game or situation.

 Most of us have buttons that can be pushed in the right sequence that start our passionate fires.
 Most of us can control the intensity of the passion.

Some fires go out of control, some are easily managed, some create death and destruction but many create new life especially in the Australian Bush where fires are needed to start germination of seeds.


And so it is with we sentient beings - a loss of temper can result in the end of a relationship and the start of a new one.


A person who has no passion , whose buttons can't be pushed, is a cold-hearted person, a psychopath, and is as disinteresting as one who loses his temper to the uncontrolled stage of destruction.


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I used to think that people start yelling and screaming if only deep inside they feel helpless and insecure. My friend has a bad temper - it's a challenge to go to a restaurant with her cause she is rude very often. I think that she is like that because she did not let go of a lot of anger she had in relation to her mom and some hurtful events in her life. Basically, it has nothing to do with genetics, but people learn to behave, based on how they are treated (from their parents mostly). If people want to change, then they can take control of it, becoming self-aware of anger issues they have. 


http://www.funqa.com/psychology/812-Psychology-4.html



 Here are steps to take anytime, even when you're not angry:



Get lots of physical activity.
 Play outside. Do sports you like. Karate or wrestling can be good for kids who are trying to get their tempers under control. But any activity that gets your heart pumping can be good because it's a way of burning off energy and stress. It feels good to boot that soccer ball or smack that baseball!


Talk to your mom or dad.
 If you're having trouble with your temper, the time to talk about it is before you have another angry outburst. Tell your parents that you're trying to do a better job of controlling yourself. Ask for their help and ideas for how you could do this better. Maybe if you go a whole week without a meltdown, they can take you out for a treat. Let them know that if you do get really angry, you're going to ask for their help.


Put feelings into words.
Get in the habit of saying what you're feeling and why. Tell your parents, "I feel angry when you tell me it's time to stop playing and take out the trash. I don't like taking out the trash." And your parent will probably say (kindly), "I know — no one likes doing it. But it's your job and you need to do it anyway." So using words won't get you out of taking out the trash (sorry!), but it might stop you from slamming the garage door, having a fit about the trash, or doing something else that could get you in trouble. Using words helps people manage their strong feelings and behaviors.


Take control.
Who's in charge here — you or that wild little puppy? Decide that you're going to be in charge. Don't let those angry feelings make you do stuff you don't want to do.

  The real test comes the next time you get so mad you could just explode. But don't explode. Put a leash on that puppy with these four steps:


Take a break from the situation.
If you're in an argument with someone, go to another part of your house. Your room or the backyard are good choices. Just say, "I want to be alone for a while so I can calm down."


Put yourself in a timeout.
If you're feeling angry and think you need a timeout to calm down, don't wait for a parent to tell you — go ahead and take a timeout for yourself. Let your family know that when you're taking a timeout, they need to respect your space and leave you alone to calm yourself down. For kids old enough to do it for themselves, a timeout isn't a punishment: It's a cool-down. While you're sitting in your timeout chair, try this cool-down exercise: Put your hands under the seat of the chair and pull up while you count to 5. Then stretch your arms over your head. Take a nice deep breath and let it out. One kid who tried these steps said he used this time to think about the consequences — like getting in trouble if he let his temper go wild.


Get the anger out.
We don't want you punching walls (or even punching pillows), but why not do a bunch of jumping jacks or dance around your room to your favorite music? Turn it up a little. If you go outside, run around or do cartwheels across the lawn. You also could pick up your pen and write it all down. What made you so upset? Keep writing until you've covered everything. If you don't like writing, just draw a picture that helps you express your feelings. Use strong colors and strong lines to show your strong feelings. You also can try the "Be a Volcano" exercise.


Learn to shift.
You'll have to work hard to do this. This is where you get that puppy under control. The idea is to shift from a really angry mood to a more in-control mood. After you get some of the angry feelings out, you have to start thinking about other things. Sometimes, when people are angry, they're not really thinking clearly. They're just mad, mad, mad. Only angry thoughts are flying around their brains. A person might even say mean things to himself or herself, like "I'm such an idiot. I lost my temper again!" But you can replace those thoughts with better ones. For instance, you can say, "I lost my temper, but I'm going to get myself under control now." Instead of thinking of the person or situation you're angry with, think of something else. Think of something that will put you in a better mood.

 A Tough Question


What if it's a problem that can't be solved? Like being angry about your parents' divorce, or having to go to summer school, or wanting a later bedtime? Or when you just can't get your way about something? Some stuff kids get angry about can't be changed. For instance, if your mom says it's time to stop playing your videogame and go to bed, what can you do? She's not changing her mind and you have to get some sleep. Man, that really stinks! You were almost to level 4!


But even if you get really angry, she won't budge. And even if you knock over a chair, you'll still have to stop playing your game. But now you might have an extra penalty for knocking over the chair. Maybe she'll say you aren't allowed to play your game tomorrow! That would be very bad news — you'd have to wait even longer to get to level 4.


Though it's one of the toughest things to learn, it might be best just to tell yourself, "OK, stop the game and get to bed." Some arguments you'll be able to win, but this probably isn't one of them.




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